Click here for the lyrics
What would you say to your Dad today if you could?
For thirteen years I have been asking this question on Father's Day at Fark.com.
For thirteen years I read the threads and cried and laughed and cried again.
For thirteen years I told you this was cathartic, heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time.
For thirteen years I tried to come to grips with my own story and move past the pain and use Father's Day as a way to turn what was really bad into something that is really good. You be the judge.
This year I realize that I am old enough that, by now, my Dad may have died of natural causes around this age had he not died so young. He died as he had lived, bold, loud, scared and running for his life. Shot dead, literally running from the police after robbing a bank in Vegas. It was his "You'll never take me alive!" moment. He never fired a shot. I'm not sure his gun was loaded. Either way, he took the easy way out.
What if he had lived? What if he dispelled the demons and continued to live a productive and loving life? He wasn't a bad guy at heart, he just got lost. He made a lot of mistakes when he was young and sold himself into his gambling addiction fueled by much alcohol and pain. His second family only knew him that way. His old family had seen it before.
As a Dad, I imagine him with my kids, the grandkids too, his great-grandkids. Like me with mine now. He was healthy otherwise, he'd have made it. We would have sat around on holidays playing music and singing all the old songs like we did with dear old Uncle Mike back in the day.
He would have made his fortune, no doubt. He was kind of a mad genius and walked backasswards into these great real estate deals. He'd have a nice place to take the kids with horses and a pond for skipping stones. How things could have been, but they're not and if the discussion we have every year about it is the best thing to come of it? I'm pleased and my relationship with my dad is resolved.
I feel entitled to give my fatherly advice.
If you're young and pissed off at your dad right now let me say this to you. You only get one dad, two if your mom is lucky. One dad and one day when you get older your life will be oh so much better having your dad in it. Maybe he isn't the best dad but if he never molested you or beat you or your mom, well how bad is it really?
It's a generational thing. You probably get along better with your granddad. Don't give up on him. Give him time to grow too. He has a lot to learn from you.
If you are a Dad today in any way, shape or form, Happy Father's Day. Today my joy is knowing your joy of fatherhood. From the birth moment memories and poopy pants to the pimples and broken hearts, the graduations and driving lessons, all of those moments that you cherish, I can feel it. Don't miss those. My advice to you is "Be There" at all cost. Let them grow into themselves feeling you'll be there at those moments when they need " A Dad. " Make it happen. As they get older with minds of their own and lawn mowers and insurance payments and such you will find that your efforts, some so small as a pat on the head or a word at the right moment, were all worth it. Accept them for who they are and love them as hard as you can and I promise things will get better.
Time is a magical thing. Don't waste these moments.
On that happy note, see you next year!
Here's this year's FARK Father's Day thread.
Click the link below to join in the conversation.
The 13th Annual "What would you say to your Dad today if you could?" Father's Day Thread
Link To Last Year's Thread
12th Annual Dear Daddy thread. What would you say to your Dad today if you could?
Folks have asked about the song, so I'm making it as downloadable as I can.
Here is a link to a free MP3 download on ReverbNation
It is also available on iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, Amazon, etc.
Thanks for listening. It really means a lot.
Til next year, my friends, stay strong.
Dan Grigor {8->{D}> (I'm spontn80 on FARK )
Here are all the previous years' FARK threads.
Take the time to read through some of the heartwarming -
and heartbreaking - "Dear Daddy" letters.
2019: 12th Annual Dear Daddy thread. What would you say to your dad today if you could?
2018: Dear Daddy, what would you say to your Dad today if you could? What did your kids say to you?
2017: The 10th Annual "What would you say to your Dad today?" FARK Father's Day thread. This thread is older than your nine-year-old
2016:Nine years running: what would you say to your Dad today if you could?
2014: Seven years running: what would you say to your Dad today if you could?
2013: What would you say to your Dad today?
2012: Fifth year in a row: What would you say to your Daddy today if you could?
2010: "Dear Daddy" ... what would you say to your Dad today?
2009: "Dear Daddy, Here's what I should have said to you." DIT
2008: Happy Father's Day. What would you say to your father today if you could?
