OK, change has come. We have evolved. This is a good thing overall, for the most part. Some things though, never change. As far back as you care to go, as far forward as you think we will last, some things never change. For as long as Dads have kids, there will be one sure thing that will last the Test of Time. It is, I’m sure, the longest lasting family tradition since “The Talk.” Your Dad did it, his Dad did it, I bet God, if you believe in that sort of thing, did it.

Follow up:

God: Knock, knock Worshiper: Who’s there? God: Ach Worshiper: Ach who? God: Bless you. Ok, maybe not, but what I’m trying to say is that I, Dan Grigor, have embraced a new method of torturing my children with bad jokes. Today, for the first time ever, I texted an inappropriate knock-knock joke to my grown-ass youngest son. From 1200 miles away, I got out my phone with its little tiny screen, turned it sideways for the qwerty keys and texted k n o c k k n o c k and he answered and back and forth til it was done including one last BWAAHHAHAHHH! Sigh, that’s it for me. I will be one of those people with calluses on my thumbs, a phone constantly vibrating in my pocket, always excusing myself for a moment in the middle of a meeting to type “who’s there?” at a moment’s notice should the need arise. Dads, don’t fight it. It is your destiny. Embrace the text. Claim a smartphone as your own. Keep your glasses handy and learn to type with your monstrous hammer-hardened thumbs. Now, more than ever, as people take a new look at what they put on Facebook, texting may be the only way to hear about what’s going on with your kids.